Generic Goodbye Letter

Dear [Insert Name Here]:
I fear this may be our last communiqué.

What started out as a harmless little cold last week has manifested into a full out frontal assault of Germ Warfare vs My Immune System. The ImSys team is currently getting its ass kicked, solidly. Give a fucking microbe an inch and they take a mile.

I knew I was in for it yesterday at about noon. I'd had the sniffles since Thursday. In my usual 'live and let live' paradigm, I figured there was enough room in my sinus cavity for me and The Germs (tm) to coexist peacefully enough. But by Friday morning, the order to Climb Mount Fujimori was issued, and the little bastards made a Cannonball Run for my lungs. I knew the laissez faire policy I’d previously held dear had gone horribly awry when my back started to ache, but the clincher was when my lungs started to itch. The Germ Army was setting an occupying force that even Donnie Rumsfeld would have been hard pressed to do much about. I immediately set medicinal sanctions in place and enlisted the help of some mercenary Antibiotics.

Let me tell you something about the Pill Politic. While there's no doubt they can oust the occupying forces, they're slow to get going and they're really god damn expensive. That, and they don't care much what others think of them, as they're pretty bitter going down. Regardless, they are likely the only thing standing between me and utter annihilation at the cruel hands of Bacterium Overlords. It's a small price to pay, I suppose, for the parting damage they cause as they take leave in my guts.

I hope this missive finds you well as I lie critically wounded in the field of battle. Should I not make it, please be sure to tell my wife that I love her.

Best Regards, and a wheezing cough.